Once there was a very handsome, pious, well educated young man, whose
parents emphasised for him to get married. they had seen so many
marriage proposals, and he had turned them all down.
The parents thought it was becoming a little ridiculous or suspected
that he may have someone else in mind.
However every time the parents left the girls house, the young man would always say 'she's not the one!'
The young man only wanted a girl who was
religious and practicing, however one evening his mother arranged for
him, to meet a girl, who was religious, and practicing.
On that evening, the young man, and girl, were left to talk, and ask each other questions. (As one would expect).
The young man, being a gentleman that he was allowed, the lady to ask first.
The young girl asked the young man so many questions,
she asked about his life, his education, his
friends, his family, his habits, his hobbies, his lifestyle, his
enjoyment, his pastimes and his experiences.
The young man replied to all of her questions,
without tiring, and politely, with a smile the young girl took up nearly
all of the time, over an hour, and felt bad, and asked the young man do
you have any questions?
The young man said, it's ok. I only have 3 questions...
The young girl thought, wow, only 3 questions okay, shoot.
The young man's first question was,
Who do you love the most in the world, someone who's love nothing would ever overcome?
She said, this is an easy question; my mother, he smiled
second question, he asked, you said that you read a lot of Qur'an, could you tell me which Surahs you know the meaning of?
Hearing this she went red and embarrassed and
said, I do not know the meaning of any yet, but I am hoping to soon
insha'allah I've just been a bit busy.
The third question the young man asked, was I have been
approached for my hand in marriage, by girls that are a lot more prettier than you, why should I marry you?
Hearing this the young girl was outraged, she
stormed off to her parents with fury, and said I do not want to marry
this man he is insulting my beauty and intelligence.And the young man
and his parents, were once again, left without
an agreement of marriage.
This time, the young mans parents were really
angry, and said what did you do to anger that girl, the family were so
nice, and pleasant and they were religious like you wanted.
What did you ask the girl?? Tell us!
The young man said, firstly I asked her, who do
you love the most? she said, her mother,The parents said so, what is
wrong with that??
The young man said, 'no one, is Muslim, until he loves ALLAH, and his messenger (SAW) more than anyone else in the world'
If a woman loves ALLAH and the Prophet (PBUH)
more than anyone, she will love me and respect me, and stay faithful to
me, because of that love, and fear for ALLAH (SWT). and we can share
this love, because this love is greater than lust
for beauty.The young man said, then I asked, you read a lot of Qur'an,
can you tell me the meaning of any Surah?
And she said no, because I haven't had time yet.
so I thought of that hadith 'ALL humans, are dead except for those who
have knowledge'
She has lived 20 years and not found ANY time,
to seek knowledge, why would I marry a woman, who does not know her
rights, and responsibilities, and what will she teach my children,
except how to be negligent, because the woman IS the
madrasa (school) and the best of teachers.
And a woman who has no time for ALLAH, will not have time for her husband.
The third question I asked her was, that a lot
of girls, more prettier than her, had approached me for marriage, why
should I choose you?
That is why she stormed off, getting angry.
The young man's parents said that is a horrible
thing to say, why would you do such a thing, we are going back there to
apologise.
The young man said I said this on purpose, to test whether she could control her anger.
The Prophet (SAW) said 'do not get angry, do not
get angry, do not angry' when asked how to become pious; because anger
is from Satan.
If a woman cannot control her anger with a
stranger she has just met, do you think she will be able to control it
with her husband??
Moral
A marriage is based on,
1.knowledge
2.not looks
3.practice
4.not preaching
5.forgiveness
6.not anger
7.spiritual love
8.compromise
9.not on lust
Suggestion One should look for a person who
1) Has love for ALLAH (SWT) and the Messenger (SAW)
2) Has knowledge of the deen, and can act upon it.
3) can control her anger and another important and crucial factor. that she be
4) willing to compromise.
and it goes both ways, so women seeking a man, should look for the same things.
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